A little truth...

Cooper is now 6 pounds 3 ounces. He has not changed much since the blood transfusion, so we are bummed. The doctors came by today to talk to me about the plan. I am a planner, so this was very nice!! He is currently on Viagra (ok, insert joke here!). There have been several studies that show it can be useful in treating pulmonary hypertension and chronic lung disease. Cooper does not have pulmonary hypertension, but we were hoping it would improve his chronic lung disease. The doctors have not been impressed with the results. We are going to up the dose and give it a few days. If he does not show improvement, we are going to try steroids again. Again my prayer is for God to give the doctors the solution to Cooper's lung issues.

I am growing so tired of driving to Baptist hospital! Don't get me wrong, Baptist is a great place, but I have experienced all I need to. Cooper is now 110 days old and we have driven to Nashville all but 4 days of his life. I am not good at balance and I am very aware that I can have control issues. In the beginning, Cooper was unstable and I wanted to be with him every minute to soak up all I could, just in case. Now that he is stable, I want to be with him to take care of him and get to know him. I have to travel for 40 minutes to see him. If I am not there, I feel like a HORRIBLE mother and I worry about him. If I am there, I am not getting anything else done and when I get home I am exhausted. (As I am typing, I am ignoring the laundry I need to move over! WOW! Irony...) My "normal" day is to be there before his 11am feeding and I stay until the 6pm break. I try to go back at 8pm for bottle and bath, but lately I am coming home to spend some time with Kevin. Since he got moved to 3rd shift, we are seeing each other for about an hour a day. He has only been on 3rd for a week, so I need to figure out my new schedule...

I am so ready to have Cooper at home with us! I wonder if we will ever be able to have a "normal" life. We have been told that he will most likely come home on some form of oxygen. That coupled with his lung issues, we will be home for a while! I am sure we will find our "normal" soon...I hope :-)

Please don't get me wrong; I love having Cooper here! I feel like the luckiest woman on the face of the earth every time I see him! God knew that pregnancy was stressing me out, so I believe he brought Cooper early to let me watch him grow. I got to see him, touch him, hold him, kiss him, read to him, and worry about him all before he was "supposed" to be here! I would not change anything about his life! I am just ready to have him all to myself (ok and Kevin too)!! I am excited for the things to come!! Thanks for letting me share a little honesty! Thank you God for our precious miracle!